In today’s age of swiping right, double tapping and online winking, finding someone to have sex with shouldn’t be an issue...right? We should all have an easy time finding someone who wants a “no strings attached” relationship; isn’t that what we’re all here for? Is that what you’re here for or are you hoping one of these brief flings can turn into something more? I often think about how dating apps have been helping people find love and also distracting people from “finding love.” I’m not going to say that dating apps don’t give people more options and control over who they have sex with, date, and end up in romantic relationships with but how much is too much?
I tried to exist online and meet new men, always remembering that most people on these apps aren’t looking for love---they’re looking for sex. When you’re out of swipes, what do you do next? Text every person on your phone that you could have sex and wait for someone to take the bait? Is this what casual sexual relationships are? Dangling the possibility of sex in front of someone and then praying they don’t ever want more from you because they should know, it’s just sex? I stopped using dating apps during my sophomore year of college because I was tired of each interaction ending in “so, you dtf?” I had even written in my short bio that I wasn’t going to ever be “dtf” with anyone. Men still asked.
I’m all out of swipes to give. As I am approaching my twenty-second birthday I want to be intentional with the men I allow in my intimate spaces, such as my home, place of work, and more. Usually, I am a very open woman; I share my hopes and dreams within the first five minutes and ten minutes in we have covered my traumas. That is just the kind of woman I am. It is a woman I would like to remain but when I feel that all I am surrounded by is swipes and superfluous conversation I get discouraged. It seems like as soon as you’re developing something with a person they re-up and swipe right…
I am all out of swipes.