What is consensual rape?
It’s when a person feels so pressured to have sex that they fear they will be raped or hurt if they continue to resist (the harassing sexual advances), so in order to avoid harm, they give in and say yes.
The number of men and women who experience this is bigger than you might think. Victims of consensual rape deal with an immense sense of guilt and shame after sex.
“I said okay, so it’s my fault.”
“Did I really lead them on? I mean... I said no at first...”
“I feel violated, but I let them do it. What is wrong with me?”
The thoughts are relentless.
Here’s the good news...
Nothing is wrong with you and it’s definitely not your fault. No, you’re not a “hoe” or a “thot”, you’re a human being and should have been treated as such. Trying to avoid situations like this is not always an option, but whenever you can remove yourself from it, do it.
My personal advice is to always have your own form of transportation home. Whether that be driving your own car, borrowing a family member’s or friend’s, or using a transportation app/ public transportation. I don’t rely on men to take me home or put them in that position of power. Sis, what if he won’t take you home? NAH.
Being backed into a corner is no way romantic or a form of foreplay. If you feel that the person you’re dealing with is not taking the hint, leave them alone. Take necessary steps like hitting the good old “block” button if they won’t leave you alone.
If you find that it’s too late and you’re about to agree to something you don’t want to do, remember it’s YOUR body, you can still say NO. Get your stuff and book it out of there.
In the unfortunate event that you did accept a ride from the other person and they are now refusing to take you home, don’t hesitate to call the police. Forget everything else. Forget being embarrassed or being called names other than your own. Forget whatever inhibitions you have that are causing you to hesitate protecting yourself at all costs. If you are unable to actually dial, on the iPhone, pressing the lock button 5 times consecutively and confirm that you are indeed in an emergency.
Or course it’s not always so serious. You may have the option to call a friend or family member. Try these before calling authorities if you don’t deem it necessary.
Every generation is different but the anti-female stigma is still there. Instagram and twitter are flooded with memes and posts that fuel a hate for women and it manifests itself in the form of aggression and disrespect, especially in the bedroom. Always speak up when you feel uncomfortable or pressured. Some people don’t even think what they’re doing is wrong. They definitely would never put a name like Consensual Rape on it. If you find that someone values having sexual relations with you more than a relationship, you need to walk away. This person would willingly have sex with you with the knowledge that you don’t want to. And it affects them in no way. Is that something you want? If it’s not, stand up for yourself.
As always, let’s keep the discussion going. Message us here at Hous 11 with any advice or question you may have. We’re always here and ready to listen. Peace and blessings loved ones.